


What Does the Doxx Say?

by merryfortune



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Gen, Inspired by Twitter, the miraculous ladybug roleplayers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 13:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6706780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merryfortune/pseuds/merryfortune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There may come a day when Ladybug doesn't have to use her Lucky Charms to defeat the Villain of the Week and it appears that today is that day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Does the Doxx Say?

   ‘Well, this is a strange predicament.’ Chat Noir mused to himself as he tugged on what appeared to spider silk armaments but it wasn’t quite soft. It was fine and white thread that crackled with bluish electricity.

‘And I will maintain that it is completely your fault, kitty.’ Ladybug huffed. With their hands restrained like this, they weren’t going to get out of this situation any time soon.

   The Akuma victim today was spewing a lot of strange nonsense. He called himself the Dox Bot and he felt the obsessive need to correct people. Ladybug suspected that she knew this man’s civilian identity: Max’s father, the mousy computer programmer who had to have everything practically perfect but Ladybug couldn’t quite confirm that.

The Dox Bot didn’t just have Paris’ favourite heroes bound to his network but also the much periled, civilian friends of the heroes although their confinements were quite different. The classmates had been sealed behind individual computer screens and had long given up on trying to escape their cybernetic prison.

   Rose could see Juleka from beyond her screen and she could also see that Ladybug and Chat Noir had been captured. She sighed and curled up, tucking her elbows underneath her chin. Juleka pouted, apparently she could see Rose.

   ‘What does the d-o-x-x say?’ Juleka sang out and the Dox Bot whipped his robot-like head around, enraged.

‘It is d-o-x, insolent girl.’ he reprimanded.

   An idea lit up in Ladybug’s eyes. Her heart hammered. She had been seconds away from having her Miraculous ripped out of her ears had Juleka not tried to cheer up Rose with a silly ditty. ‘Chat, how would you spell dox?’ Ladybug asked. Chat Noir looked confused. His expressive eyes crinkled with nonplus.

‘What do you mean, my lady?’ he asked.

‘Well, I would spell dox as d-o-x-x.’ Ladybug quipped.

   The Dox Bot whipped back around and snarled: ‘It’s d-o-x, stupid girl!’ he snarled.

‘Oh, I see now.’ Chat Noir said and she scanned his surroundings. He hoped that the other adolescents would catch onto Ladybug’s plan. ‘Oh yeah, it’s definitely spelt d-o-x-x.’

   The Dox Bot growled and his movements seemed like they were grinding unto a gradual halt. ‘Ivan and Mylene sitting in a tree. D-o-x-x-i-ng!’ Max yelled out whilst his friends turned red.

‘It’s d-o-x!’ the Dox Bot yelled.

‘Aye-yo lil mama lemme d-o-x-x in yo’ ear!’ Alix called out.

‘It’s d-o-x!’ screamed the Dox Bot. His metallic face was slowly turning scarlet. Smoke was drifting out lazily from his joints and platinum costume.

   ‘I, uh, um, d-o-x-x!’ Kim yelled out and Alix laughed.

‘Good one, Kim!’ she taunted.

‘It’s d-o-x!’ the Dox Bot screeched. His voice was beginning to glitch. His eyes were oscilating between all the colours of the rainbow and he was generally beginning to malfunction. His powers were beginning to recede as well because of his frustration. It seemed that a little more would tip him over the edge and then the heroes could easily swoop in and purify him of his evil.

   The teenagers glanced around at everyone who hadn’t gone yet. ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’ Mylene asked.

‘I dunno, why?’ Ivan asked.

‘To d-o-x-x the D-o-x-x Bot.’ Mylene joked and her boyfriend laughed.

   The Dox Bot screeched incoherently but everyone was able to guess what he meant: “It’s d-o-x the D-o-x Bot!”

‘You try now, Ivan.’ Mylene encouraged and she glanced at Chloe and Sabrina as well.

‘My new favourite metal band is call D-o-x-x and the D-o-x-x Slayers?’ Ivan said and Mylene giggled. The Dox Bot continued to scream incoherently.

   The computer screens binding the teenagers were slowly beginning to malfunction. Max and Alix had already been freed and were enjoying the real world; even Max to everyone’s surprise.

   ‘What’s that brand of perfume you’re wearing today?’ Sabrina asked Chloe with a smug smile. ‘Didn’t you call it D-o-x-x Number Four?’

‘Argh.’ Chloe groaned and soon Mylene and Ivan had been freed from their prisons as well. The thread binding Ladybug and Chat Noir were also thinning out and electricity had stopped running through them.

‘Just a little bit more, Chloe – for me!’ Ladybug called out and instantly Chloe’s attitude changed.

   Her grin was purely saccharine and in a cacophonic voice, she called out: ‘Anything for you D-o-x-x-bug.’ The Dox Bot had run out of energy to scream with. His voice was shrill and hoarse but he wasn’t quite done yet.

   He swung around and vaguely looked like the Terminator now that he had been hoisted by his own petard. ‘I will destroy all of you insolent and stupid children!’ he threatened but he sounded as squeaky as a computer mouse.

   Ladybug laughed and glanced at Chat Noir. He grinned. ‘Cataclysm!’ he yelled and he was able to cut the ties with his corrosive power. He freed himself and Ladybug. Ladybug strutted up to the Dox Bot who was twitching and mumbling and being generally malignant but she was so dauntless about it.

   ‘I dare you to kink shame me, D-o-x-x- Daddy.’ she taunted and she poked the Dox Bot. He glared at her and stared her down. Ladybug quirked an eyebrow and the Dox Bot decided that he couldn’t contend with such a shameless and proud girl.

   He tore off his bowtie and tore it in half. ‘You can’t do that, that’s against the rules.’ Ladybug pouted and the Dox Bot conceded. He fell to ground and purple, gluey miasma covered him.

   Ladybug tossed out her magic yo-yo and purified the Akuma. The Dox Bot became Max’s father again. The poor boy was horrified to see that his father had been the one to incapacitate his friends and heroes.

   Chat Noir swaggered towards Ladybug. ‘The Dox Bot might not kink shame you but I-’

‘Not another word, kitty. I don’t want to be lectured by someone who wears leather all day long.’ Ladybug threatened and she tugged on Chat Noir’s tail.

‘You have put the cat in a bag, I see.’ Chat Noir surrendered.

‘That’s what I thought.’ Ladybug huffed. ‘Now hurry off or else your Miraculous will time out and then I can kink shame your civilian self into oblivion.’

‘This side of you is unexpected, my lady.’ Chat Noir purred before dashing off.

   Ladybug could feel her skin crawl with regret.


End file.
